Isn't fresh coriander just lovely
2002-05-14 || 5:42 p.m.

Its been a funny day today.

I got up and went to take my jeans out of the washing machine to put on the airer while I was at work, only to find the aerial ball fall out and spill the liquid all over the floor and despite the fact that the machine said 'end', it clearly hadn't gone through. Strange. Then when I was getting breakfast I dropped a carton of orange juice. So we now had two sets of slippery things on the floor. Then I tripped over the board at the bottom of the stairs that is there to stop the dog going upstairs, but he's such a coward he shakes if you take him up there because he doesn't know where he is! On the way I got tangled in the rug because the dog has chewed a hole in it and then twisted my ankle on his bone! And all before I even left the house.

I got to work late to find I was at the back of the queue for the photocopier (essential if you're a teacher - books are out of fashion at the moment, its worksheet city, man). By the time it was my go I got a jam because the copier does not like the new paper, I pulled at the stuck paper a little bit too roughly and found a bit of plastic had come off in my hand. I exclaimed loudly, "oh my goodness, look what the paper did to the copier!" (whilst scrunching the paper up a bit more). I performed my magic trick of pulling out my pre-scrunched paper and told everyone it had got so badly folded it had pulled the machine apart and I would advise they keep the aforesaid paper and show it to the Zerox man when he comes.

I then said I would not be able to do numeracy as I had no worksheets and there is nothing on perimeter in the text books I do have. I declared I was going to draw a volcano on the board and have the kids draw it. Unfortunately these far more interesting plans were scuppered when one of the classroom assistants took my worksheets and copied them somewhere else for me. Damn.

I had three, yes THREE love letters on my desk today. Shame they are all from 8 year olds. Mind you, I have progressed from receiving them from girls to receiving them from boys. One of Rebecca's friends asked her (after seeing me at parents' evening) why she hadn't told her that I was so gorgeous!

Hmmm. I reckon I could pull there. Trouble is I'm a teacher so a lesbian relationship with a 13 year old may just make the tabloids. They love juicy teacher sex stories, don't they. Mind you I quite liked being described as gorgeous. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that eventually I may pull someone (of either sex) over the age of 16. Well you have to keep hoping.

The rest of today consisted mostly of marking. I marked 96 maths worksheets, 32 pieces of verb tense homework, 16 literacy books and approximately 120 assorted other worksheets that I had stashed on my vegetable rack (in my classroon). Yes, that's all the storage they run to in the great British education system.

What I now have left to mark:

32 RE books.

32 Science books.

32 test books.

So, down to 96 - what a result!

So onto the hollow vacuum that is my social life. I don't know if I'm going out tonight yet. I haven't heard from Lindsay. David texted me and he wants to go out but ... well, David is one of my best friends but if its just the two of us at the pub quiz we'll be lucky to make double figures. They'll have to give us special needs support.

Me and Rebecca are going to see Saves the Day tomorrow at the Mean Fiddler but she only told me at the weekend that it is an 18 age restriction. I think she'll be lucky if they let her in but she is tall, so she's got that in her favour. I know, I know, I'm her mother so I shouldn't be taking her to 18 venues but FUCK THAT, what's wrong with going to gigs and appreciating music. She's learning about herself and what she likes. Its good for her.

I think.

On Friday I'm going out for a drink with the others from work.

The other big news story is that me, Cathy and Helen are taking the Kent County Council to court because they deducted an unlawful amount of money from our pay when we went on strike. They should have deducted one 365th but they actually deducted one 195th. I received a letter from the NUT today saying that 3 other Authorities were going to deduct one 195th but backed out at the last minute. Probably realised the shit that would follow. After all, if we are only getting paid for working 195 days a year then we should only be working 195 days a year and if you work that out that equals 39 five day weeks ie term time only!!

I know people think teachers whinge all the time about pay and conditions but seriously if you worked out the amount of hours I work a week I reckon I earn less than the minimum wage an hour. Not good.

Plus, before you mention that old chestnut of, "but you get all those holidays". WE DON'T GET PAID FOR THEM ARSEHOLE.

And being in a 'profession' we have to get permission to do another job. Which basically means the only option open during the holidays is tutoring or playschemes. Well, fuck me with a maths text book but I've just about had enough of large groups of children when the holidays come round. And no that doesn't make me a nasty person. And yes, I am ranting.

Sorry.

I'm actually in quite a good mood today but I would like to leave my job where it belongs - at work.