fuck my face, fuck my name
2003-09-09 || 8:54 p.m.

Isn't it funny. Just as I begin to think maybe I matter in a tiny way somewhere, somehow, the truths I know but am ignoring come back to remind me.

I hate myself so much and I don't want to live at all. When I walked to work this morning I just felt a total and utter waste of space. I just wanted to die. I just wanted to lay down on the pavement and cry until someone cared enough to stop.

It doesn't matter how much I try to believe it, it is just not enough to live for others, I need to live for myself too, but I can't because I am worthless.

I just hate myself so damn much, no-one can imagine how much it hurts.

I just can't do this anymore. I cannot carry on existing knowing that everyone else is so beautiful and so full of goodness and I am so foul and nasty.

I am so utterly awful.