off my head
2003-04-16 || 10:41 a.m.

My brain feels flat today, this may be a day of lots of stupid little entries as things occur to me and I can't keep them in my head because they feel like they are engulfing me.

There's a film on TV that judging by the clothes and music must have been made in the 1960's. Christ, it could be any Easter Holidays in the last 30 years if you go by the TV schedule.

Some sort of fighter plane just went over the house really low and made everything rattle. I still can't stop myself from staring at planes and willing them to fall out of the sky. I really should stop it because its not very nice. I'd feel awful if one did fall out of the sky. Sometimes I feel like I have little control over the things that come into my head especially when they are things directed at hurting me. When I was a kid I used to wish that a plane would crash into my bedroom and then I would be able to make friends with the people in the seats. Shows what a saddo lonely child I was. I never worry about thinking things like that, the way I look at it, there must be at least one other person who thinks the same, I can't be the only one. That would make no sense whatsoever. And like Rebecca keeps reminding me 'what makes you think you're so special?'

Its time to get dressed and do some cleaning; my brain is trying to kill me today.