this is beginning to hurt
2003-03-13 || 8:51 p.m.

So I just had the second evening of seeing the parents. Mostly they turned up in pairs, which means that out of approximately 64 people, I spoke to one shit, which is pretty good going I guess.

One mother said to me, 'you know, out of all the teachers my son has ever had you are the only one who has described the child I know at home to me and I thank you for that'.

I don't want to sound all fucking pious here, but to me every single child I teach is special and I try to convey that to them. And it should make me feel really proud when someone says something like that to me but it just makes me sad.

It makes me sad because I just think how totally dumb I am. And I just think that I should be a bastard like most other people because then I'd have the things that other people have. Then someone would love me too.