so I drift through these days
2003-03-14 || 6:56 p.m.

I'd just said to someone today that I hadn't heard or seen anything of the mice since the council man came last week and fuck me with a mouse trap, I just heard the pitter patter of tiny feet and an unmistakeable squeak. They may as well walk past me wearing cravats and smoking cigarettes in tiny little ornate holders, they so take the piss out of me.

I just read a couple of the entries I've written the past couple of days. Its funny how sometimes your words just seem so flat and made of nothingness. I can't relate to a single thing I have written.

I'm not at all angry with Kylie anymore. It just passed as if it had never happened at all. I just suddenly couldn't care. It's like I just don't have the energy to be angry. I don't feel real when I speak. I open my mouth and words come out and the other person opens their mouth and words come out but I understand none of it and the words just fall into circles on the floor or hang there waiting for me to give them meaning.

Which I never do.

It's impossible to carry on. Just impossible. I can't do it anymore. It's all over.