moving on
2003-02-11 || 6:57 p.m.

I'm reading a book about Africa. About Zimbabwe during and just after the fight for independence. I'm so wrapped up in this book that I keep crying.

I walked Dylan a while back. It's rained all day but it's cleared up now. The sky was still heavy and I could not see the stars. Every time I walk at night and I see the sky stretched out I just feel so damn dumb. I like being away from street lights and seeing the real sky.

One of my kids came running up to me today saying 'oh no miss I trod on one of the fairies - what should I do?'. I don't know whether I should stop the fairy game for a while. Today I got a bit carried away with it, I told them they were playing their gameboys - playing a game called 'Pokegnome'. I thought it was funny.

I found out some things about my new boy today that has made me feel a bit sad for him. When he smiles he looks so beautiful but he doesn't smile often. I want him to feel secure and happy and to smile. God forbid they should ever feel as bleak as I do sometimes.

Maria did an assembly on it being the feast day of the sightings of Our Lady at Lourdes. She made us sing Ave Maria. Fuck. Wouldn't it be great to be the headteacher and get to pick hymns with your name in! Haha I'd do it every day just because I could.