And when I'm lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death, and neither one particularly appeals to me
2002-09-12 || 5:54 p.m.

Damn school illnesses. I'm sick. Already. One week into the term. I have a sore throat and its not from shouting because I don't shout. Haha I have wind chimes to get their attention or else I put my hands in the air and start doing stupid stuff and they all starting watching and then copying. I have a sore throat, period pains, headache and I'm just knackered.

Yesterday I was trying to find a black vest to wear under my dress. I knew exactly what one I wanted, it had to be the one with the low back because the dress has a low back. I can't just wear the dress because it would be indecent and I don't want to bend down over a desk to find my tits hanging out. Not really. Anyway I looked on the airer. I took everything off the airer but it wasn't there. Today it was there. How does that happen? You know, I know it is just that I'm always in a rush and so I don't concentrate but sometimes I wonder if it is that time is so lacking in structure that time slips are happening all the time, just little tiny ones, so tiny that we do not notice, we just think we have forgotten we moved stuff. I was thinking about this as I walked to school today. I was looking at the gardens in the houses I was passing and thinking about how there is really no such thing as something solid because it is all just vibrations and then I thought about how difficult it is to comprehend time. When I was pre-school - pre-school! - my mum was trying to teach me to tell the time. I couldn't understand it. I remember it well. She would get really annoyed with me and shout and slap me which obviously really helped. I still have problems today if the clock is an analogue clock because I have dyslexic tendencies and I mix up different sides of things. I see three as nine and seven as five. I'm usually ok but sometimes I make mistakes. Anyway, my kids have real trouble when I teach time. Jesus, I have trouble! Its so hard to grasp. And I reckon the reason its so hard to grasp is because it is just all wrong. Kids have got it right you see. They know intuitively that it makes no sense.

And I also just so wish that I was going to see Morrissey next week at the Royal Albert Hall.