it was just 2000 years ago
2002-08-02 || 9:53 p.m.

Maybe every day I'll write a long forgotten Christian chorus down.

Then again, maybe I won't.

I can remember going on Christian holidays where I would stay at boarding schools. The leaders would get us in a dark room and tell us to pray to let Jesus into our hearts. I would close my eyes so tight and hold my hands together and yet ... nothing happened. Other kids would say that they had heard him but I just heard the floor boards creaking and people breathing and the wind outside, birds, my heart beating but no Jesus.

I went on the last one when I was 12. I was getting too old for them. I was already into punk. I can remember wearing virtually the same outfit every day. skintight black trousers and a grandad shirt. I remember one of the leaders saying to me at the end of the holiday that they thought I was going to be a trouble maker but I was a really sweet girl (!). The boarding school was a boys boarding school. We found a loose floorboard in our dormitory. We figured if we had found it, the boys knew it was there too. We wrote really disgusting notes to the boys. We thought it would cheer them up when they came back to school! We hid them under the loose floorboard.

I wonder if they ever found them?