sometimes she feels so sad and she finds it hard to stay alive
2006-02-26 || 8:28 p.m.

Had the most awful memories dredged up tonight of the reason why I am an utter sub-human. Of why I loathe and despise myself. It's something I have tried to bury for so many years now but it's like the chains are made of gossamer. Strong, so long as nothing comes near. People always want to know why exactly it is that I hate myself so so much when there seems no obvious reason for it. But I can never say. It is far too shameful. Far too ugly. Just like every single bit of me. I am cankerous through and through. Just utter filth and bile.