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2003-08-26 || 9:54 p.m.

I want to be a beautiful person.

I need to be a better person.

I want to be kind and thoughtful and loving.

I'm realising now that I should have listened to what Alain said. He was so right about all the things that are wrong with me.

But really I just want to be a beautiful person. I want light inside me. I really truly do.

I've just fucked up, like I always fuck up.

I've hurt someone and I don't even know how.

I truly don't deserve to exist.