screaming deadinside
2003-08-17 || 10:18 p.m.

And its got to the point now where I hate to catch sight of myself in a mirror because I'm just reminded of my utter foulness.

Its got to the point where I cannot bear to leave the house because it means I force the human race to acknowledge my presence in even the smallest of ways, just by my taking up space on the pavement or in a shop or on a train.

And I know I say it again and again to the point where it seems like I'm just crying wolf and I know no-one believes me but I'm in so much fucking pain that I cannot even begin to describe it.

I just can't bear to have no life, to be so alone forever.

I just want to hide from myself. I just wish I would fucking go away.