walking in circles
2003-06-10 || 10:29 p.m.

I was going to write something about how I like William Blake and how I love his pictures and the golden glows he has in them but then I thought it was just an arsehole thing to write so I thought I'd write about my dream instead.

I can't be bothered to write all the details now but basically I was naked but in a fire engine, I made a half-hearted attempt to cover myself up because a taxi driver was looking at me but in the end I dealt with it by putting on a fireman's outfit. I found myself back at my primary school and someone asked if I was a firefighter but I explained 'no, I'm just naked and wearing one of their outfits' and I showed them that underneath I was wearing nothing at all. Then I met up with my friend from college because she wanted to buy some clothes but she couldn't find anything and got upset and I ended up carrying all her clothes. I walked for miles to her house only to lose her just before we got there - I had no idea where she went, so I tried to get a bus home and as I asked for my fare I realised I was still naked but wearing the fireman's outfit and I had no money. The bus driver said that it didn't matter who I was or what important job I did, if I didn't have the fare I wasn't riding the bus. I didn't argue, I just accepted what she said and got off and walked home.

Well I say I walked home, that was my intention but I woke up at that point.

I'm sorry to have bored anyone (possibly) with this rendition of my dream but I wanted to put it in my dream diary but I keep getting that message that says I can't because I don't have gold on it. So sorry! I put it here.

Anyway - quick analysis. I'm feeling exposed, but I don't really care, I cope by covering up in anything that comes my way - with my veneer of professional job and outward trappings, I'm trying to protect myself but its just on the surface. I feel like I do stuff for others but they don't notice and I'm totally accepting of my situation.

haha!

But you know, I'm trying to deal with the important things. I'm looking after Bex, my dog is recovering well, my rabbits and guinea pig are all cleaned out and fed and all my plants are watered and my bonsai is doing really well because I'm giving it lots of care and attention.

I care very much for living things and not a great deal for anything material.