private hell
2003-04-17 || 9:56 a.m.

Further insights into why I am so undesirable:

I take a 'which gender is your brain?' test. Its a test based on pattern recognition and the ability to rotate and see shapes. I score virtually 100%. The test result says 'your brain is equally male and female'. How freaky is that? Although if both sides of my brain work equally it probably explains why I am ambidextrous. And explains why I appeal to no-one.

I blame AOL with all their pop-up quizzes.

So next I took a 'How Smart Are You?' test. An IQ test. I scored 'Congratulations! You are gifted!'

Fuck. More like 'Commiserations!'

Ellie came round yesterday. She was sitting on my sofa. As I walked past I heard her say quietly 'Gary Potashi wants you'. I turned around. 'What did you say?' I asked. She repeated it. 'How old is he?' I enquired, 'is he over 18?' (I know who Gary Potashi is, he's this long haired skater guy, he takes his top off every time I walk past but I thought that was coincidence). 'No' she disappointingly replied. And then her and Bex started having an argument about which year at school he was in whilst I thought 'fuck me with a snowboard, why is NO-ONE who fancies me over 18?'

And when will I grow up?

Oh, well. Spring cleaning is the new sex, didn't you know?