it might be possible that the world itself is without meaning
2003-03-26 || 9:06 p.m.

I want to write something so beautiful that it could make someone want to rip their heart out and give it to me but I think that really I should stop thinking like that because that's what's been wrong with me all along. And there always was something wrong with me.

I fantasize about stuff all the time. Things like being held and kissed and lying in someone's arms and being adored and having just that perfect relationship and I wonder if everyone does that or if I'm just some sort of half-wit.

And I put on my favourite music and I dance around the house and for three minutes I can be perfectly happy.