I want to let go and be lifted to the sky
2003-01-15 || 6:31 p.m.

The sniping in the staff room being fired at Helen from Kylie is really beginning to get me down. I'm getting caught in the crossfire too and I really don't want to be there.

After school I said to Kylie 'Have you had a good day?'. She did a pursed lip Maria face and said 'not really.' Conversation officially closed. Later sitting round the table at the staff meeting Kylie fires at Helen, 'are you going to buy more paint, you said you would.' Helen says there is no money left in the art budget for this financial year. Kylie then says, 'well everyone keeps taking my paint'. I said, 'oh I borrowed some of yours today, Denise offered it to me and bought it to my classroom'. Same closed face, 'I know.' She replied.

It would seem I'm taking sides even though I'm not taking sides.

Well, if Kylie wants to know where my sympathies lie, then they lie with Helen, definitely. Kylie is a Bitch. Helen came to my classroom at 1.30 today crying. I had to take her outside into the corridor to calm her down. My class were wonderful. They didn't bat an eyelid - just got on with their bar charts. She is incredibly unhappy, what with the pressure from Maria and the nastiness from Kylie. She wanted reassurance from me that it wasn't all in her imagination - that Kylie is saying nasty things all the time. I told her that was the case and, well, what else could I say. Nothing. I just told her she could talk to me at any time and I was always there for her.

My 'Irises' display is going well although we did have another terrible painting afternoon. They cannot understand the concept of brush strokes all going the same way. Well, it's a school for fuck's sake, it's their work, its not an art gallery.

Rebecca is reading this over my shoulder. She just scoffed loudly 'that's not what you said! You said ITS SHIT!!" She's right - I did say it was shit, but I meant it in the nicest possible way.

Vainly I wore toe rings today because it was the first day of swimming and I get to walk around the side of the swimming pool in my bare feet teaching various strokes. Toe rings and clumpy boots are a painful experience.

As to my mind. Well, it still hurts.