Am I wicked? Am I right?
2003-01-03 || 12:28 p.m.

There's a key on this keyboard which, when I touch it accidentally, just gets rid of everything I've typed. And I just so wish I knew which key it was because I'd damn well remove it, after having given it a good talking to and tortured it for a bit.

I feel very dislocated at the moment and very unlike myself. I feel like I am looking at myself from a distance.

I apologise for the rant earlier. I'm already beginning to regret having typed it. I would delete it, but my regret just sort of typifies my whole personality and so I think it should remain.

Immediately after I typed it I was physically sick which is a strange thing indeed.

I feel I know so little. I felt bad for typing anything at all given that I know so very little. I have no right to judge anyone else or to make disparaging remarks about anyone at all.

I have these stupid fucked up hippy beliefs. I so believe that everyone is made with the light of god inside them. Everyone. Even those really annoying fuckers. And so because I don't believe that god is a separate thing to humanity, I believe god is an aspect of humanity, I feel that everyone is equal and divine and I also feel I just cannot explain this at all.

And so I believe we are our own judges and we create our own hell. And then I wonder at what amazing torturous place I will concoct for myself given that years ago I went to a palmist who visibly flinched and went pale at the sight of my palm and muttered something about my head line shooting off down towards my wrist in a manner which is just not right and how it is the sign of a depraved and uncontrollable imagination.

And so you should all pat me on the back for being so in control of this terrible depravity.

You should all thank your lucky stars that I am merely virtual.