I see no further now than this dream
2002-11-01 || 8:52 a.m.

it tells me how it feels to be new
A thousand voices whisper it true
It tells me how it feels to be new
And every voice belongs
Every voice belongs to you

I had a very strange night.

I dreamt about Ben.

I dreamt about the past. Not my past, just the past.

I was viewing a situation. There were lots of couples dancing in a ballroom. There was an Italian family watching with a daughter who was sick. She had a heart problem - she described it as her heart having a science fiction take on its relationship to her body.

There were other dreams too but I can't remember them at the moment.

I have a horrendous sore throat. I wonder at the moment how many of my ailments stem from the mind rather than the body. I've been sick continuously since the beginning of September.

I want to further emotionally devastate myself.

I hate having everything I want and desire in my head and never having it in reality.

Today my life demands the prosaic but my mind wants to be dark.

Really fucking dark.