Autumn mists
2002-10-25 || 7:01 p.m.

I feel very weird today, sort of physically weird. I have a neck ache, ear ache, sinus ache and I'm dizzy. A lot of the time I think teacher ailments are due to the strange changes in the patterns of our lives. One minute, total stress and the next, silence and time off.

So, one week off. Surely to God there is not much I can do to destroy myself in one week. Six weeks in the summer was different, but hopefully I cannot get up to much this time.

Today was hard going. I was in full on bitch mode. I did decide to wear my totally unsuitable glitter handprint t-shirt. I always go too far. When I got to work I said anyone whose hands fitted the prints could take me out. Deathly silence. Maria looked at me like I was a piece of total and utter shit. During the social worker speech she asked if anyone thought hitting children was a form of abuse. I said that I did. You could see the tumble weed whizz through the room at that point. She said to me did I think everyone who smacks their children is a child abuser. I said that I did not think the two things necessarily added up. Personally, I think it is wrong and I would call it abuse but I would not be so arrogant as to call someone else of a different opinion, an abuser.

What did I do next to surpass myself? Well, this afternoon we were tidying up the library. The RE co-ordinator is a fully paid up practising member of the Catholic church. I found a book on witchcraft I said, 'Hey, Tricia, here's a book for you'. She turned around. I said, 'its an RE book'. She looked at it and said, 'it's witchcraft'. I said, 'yes I know. Its an earth religion, a natural religion, it goes with the religion books'.

Well, as the saying goes... if looks could kill, you could send me some flowers.

What gets into me, that I behave like this?

Me and Bex did the food shopping after work. I had this craving for hoummus, falafel, lettuce and pitta bread. No falafel anywhere in Dartford. Bastards.

Mind you, I did get to go on Robert Murphy's till in Sainsburys. He really fancies me! He chatted to me the whole time. Rebecca was sitting on a chair smirking. When I finished and paid, she said, "God, just call him Bobby Boner, or what!!" I was trying desperately to put him off me. I said to him, 'I'm a total bitch after nine o'clock'. He just laughed.

Rebecca is talking on the phone to Eleanor. They are talking about 'Puff the Magic Dragon'. There is a debate going on as to whether Puff dies in the song. I just said that I think that Jackie Paper grows up and that is why Puff does not come anymore but when I was a child I always interpreted it as Puff dying.

When Rebecca was small I wrote extra verses so that Puff came to live with her.