No beauty could have come from me
2002-09-22 || 10:53 p.m.

Oh I'm having a bad day. I just wrote and deleted an entry. No inspiration you see. I just feel crushed. Stupid and crushed. God, I nearly wrote 'cursed' then instead. That too. But seriously, i am having a bad day. I can't concentrate. I can't cope. Stupid. I'm in a lot of pain, I think I may have an infection or blood poisoning or something. I want to go to bed but I have to wait for Rebecca to get out of the bath. I need to walk the dog too but again I cannot do that until Rebecca is out of the bath. Rebecca is the most precious thing in the world to me. I worry so much. I worry if I go out and leave her in the bath, she will slip, smash her head on the side and drown in the water.

There is no light in me, only darkness.