The Dreaming
2002-07-20 || 10:25 a.m.

I am feeling this immense sensation of dislocation. When people talk to me its like their voices are bouncing through jelly to get to me and becoming distorted. I can't hear them. i feel paralysed. I want to speak back but I don't know how to. And then when they shout more I become even more motionless - is that possible? Am I a stone? Do stones sit there unable to communicate but hearing all?

I took all my beads and bracelets from my left wrist last night and looked at the veins in my wrists. The skin is translucent. When I touch it and move it, my veins float beneath. They are so near to the surface.

If only.

The door frames start to bend. The world does not look solid. Truly. I'm not on anything. When I woke this morning I'm sure I was aware of the transition. If I could wake quick enough I could put my arm through the wall.

What is this life? Is it different things for different people? For me, I hope its a cocoon state. A waiting. But for most it seems a happening.

I am truly alone.