Get thee behind me, Barbie
2002-03-18 || 8:46 p.m.

I've just had the wierdest 10 mins. I decided to go to bed early but I thought I'd play CD's. Music and me have a love/hate relationship. Some days I just look at my CD's and think 'I hate them all, I can't play any of them' and other days of course they are fine. I decided to sort through some I have downstairs and take up some reinforcements. I have an 'A' list and 'B' list CD collection. My 'B' list are currently consigned to a suitcase under the dining table. Anyway, I found a 'Hunters and Collectors' CD and remembered their 'Ghost Nation' album which I used to love. I've only got this on tape so I thought I'd check out whether you could buy it through Amazon. You can and its only �8.99 - a bargain - even though its an import. Anyway I then decided to go upstairs and find my tape. All my tapes are in an old CD player box but they are stacked on top of a chest of drawers. I balanced precariously on the arm of a chair, the box being too heavy to haul down, looking for the tape. Could I find it? Could I fuck but I had a nice 10 mins of nostalgia. Every tape I ever bought or made is in that box. There was stuff there I'd forgotten about. Things like radio interviews with The Smiths taped at the time they were broadcast. Loads of pirate live stuff of The Clash, The Smiths, Billy Bragg and others. There's even my first ever tape which was Parallel Lines by Blondie. Along with a myriad collection of party tapes made by me when I first had Rebecca and moved into my own place. I used to still have parties in those days. The moment ended when suddenly, out of nowhere, my old leather jacket fell down on top of me. That leather jacket was a classic. Alain painted it for me, and it had the design from the back of the 7" Should I stay or Should I go/Straight to Hell. I can't imagine I would ever wear it again but I'd never throw it out. I'm surprised I haven't thrown it out actually. A few years ago I had a throwing out mania. Loads of stuff went. Not much was shown any mercy. Zeppy escaped but Polly was put in the wheelie bin before I suffered a pang of regret remembering all the love and attention I lavished on her when I was small and fished her out.

Rebecca just came downstairs saying she had found a Barbie head on her bedroom floor. She's just gone in the kitchen and cut the hair off and says she's going to use it as a pencil top. A few years ago me and Rebecca had been out somewhere. It was a really cold, icy night and when we returned, on the front door step, was a frozen Barbie head! It was like a Barbie mafia moment.

Rebecca just gave me a present. A Barbie head pencil top all of my very own. She's 'gothed' hers up. Wonder if she'll do mine for me. If I still had the body I could turn it into a 'mini Maria'. Mmmm, anyone got any pins?