High priestess of boredom
2002-05-07 || 7:42 p.m.

I was just on my way out of the door tonight when Maria said, "oh, are you going to your meeting?" I was like, "uh, what meeting - I'm going to have my hair cut." She then said, "but you've got a meeting to go to at St Alban's school tonight". She led me to the staff book. I feigned interest. Then said, "sorry, can't make it". She was a tad gobsmacked and just said, "ok". I fear I'm going to get it in the neck tomorrow.

Anyway, fair's fair. I've had to give up my non-contact time tomorrow afternoon to crown Mary on the school field. Yes, you did hear right. Yet another hijacking by Christianity of a perfectly good pagan festival. What should we be doing at the time of the beltane? Well, the high priestess should be getting her pick of the young warriors who have donned antlers and fought to the death for her honour. What do we get to do instead? Well stick flowers on the head of an uncomplaining virgin statue.

When I was 18 I seriously, SERIOUSLY considered becoming a druid. Really I did. I was very drawn to it. In the end after a lot of thought and reading and thinking I decided that I did not have the right level of commitment needed to dedicate my life to something, especially when I have such problems with conformity anyway. I felt out of all the religions, that druidism quite fitted me at the time. Also I liked the idea of the crescent moon tattoo and the carrying of a small dagger on your person at all times. Just the thing for your Party 7. No, now I'm being flippant. But I really did consider it.

Really, I find that although I have quite a strong level of spirituality I just have never found one path that offers me what I need.

If I'm really being honest here, I was also a bit scared of becoming a pagan at 18 and totally turning my back on my upbringing. Although I can't really remember a time when I believed what I was brought up with, its still a bit scary to really, fundamentally reject it.

So what am I? Well a bit of pick and mix I suppose. I just believe the things that make sense to me. I make no apologies for this. I have no real problem with the RE I have to teach because I think, at the end of the day, its better to get children thinking about spiritual matters than to not introduce it at all and I always try to be balanced and although I have to teach a 'broad Christian based curriculum' its still easy to include other theologies. Well, easy if you're me and have a 'fuck that' attitude to being told what to do. Every time I teach RE I tell the kids that 'Love' is top of the pops (!! - I know its really corny but they are only children) and when I was looking through their RE books they actually write that down!

And being the pagan hippy chick that I am, I'm quite happy with that.