please don't die, Elvis
2003-10-25 || 7:51 p.m.

And now Elvis is dying. He's on my lap as I type this wrapped in towels on top of a hot water bottle. I've no idea what is wrong with him. Why do animals always get ill when the vets are shut? why do they always die on my lap? I'm so sad. I'm so sad and tired of everything always going wrong. I don't want Elvis to die. I just always let everything and everyone down.

The stupid thing was, two or three nights ago I dreamt that Elvis died. I told one person. In my dream I dreamt I went out into the garden to feed Elvis and he was curled up in a tiny ball at the mouth of a uterus shaped hole and I thought he was dead. I went to pick him up and I realised he was still alive, just and I was really happy.

I wonder what will happen.

I don't want to start dreaming of the future again. I really don't.

Ps Elvis is no longer dying. Elvis is dead.