to love and to be loved
2003-08-15 || 7:46 p.m.

And I don't need to wait for the rain. And I don't need to wait for the wind. And I don't need to wait for it to be cool again.

Because I am me and only me and I came here alone and I will leave here alone and inbetween I will be here alone.

And so I don't need to wait for long-sleeve weather.

It is the closest relationship I will ever have. There will be no other.

No-one will ever press as close against my skin. No-one will ever give me something else to look forward to at night. That delicious waiting during the day once you have decided that you have gone too long without. No-one else will leave that feeling on me as I drift asleep. No-one else will fill my head during the day leaving me with a belief that I do have something sensual and private after all. No-one else could be so close to me as the thing I run from and yet always return to.

And no-one should force me to cover the marks of the only thing I will ever be close to.