so I finally begin to understand
2003-07-20 || 3:10 p.m.

I still think I may be getting better but its slow and I just hurt a lot.

I've had so much time to think. The other week I said to someone that I finally understood eternity and why life is eternal. It is the moment. The moment never ends. He said to me 'so you finally understand'. And so now I understand how we survive death. That moment of death never ends: We never die. Its like every moment we have is a word on a page in a book - they are all there together or they all exist separately just exactly as they are.

And so nothing matters at all, because everything just is.