one november spawned a monster
2003-07-03 || 6:54 a.m.

oh fuck why did I wake up.

I don't want to wake up anymore.

I don't want to inflict the foul ugliness of my life on this beautiful world.

The dirt, squalor and physical and verbal violence all around me are outward signs of my true inner nature.

I am going to walk out of the door with nothing but the clothes I am in. I will walk until I am too tired to go any further and sleep wherever I end up. Then I will walk again the next day and sleep and walk again the next, until I can go no further.

And all these beautiful things that have the misfortune to be within my world will be set free.

I wonder if anyone realises that these are not just words.

This loneliness has broken my heart.