left here to sleep
2003-05-26 || 2:50 p.m.

The only way I can stop myself from slicing my wrists open is to go to bed.

And so I have gone to bed during the day for the last two days. And then I imagine that I already did cut myself open and I am lying in a clean, white bed somewhere. Somewhere where I can lay forever, undisturbed. And I fantasize about the blood pouring out all over this damn keyboard, clogging up the keys, stealing what little is left of me away into cyber space. Watching me dissolve.