it pains me to know that some thing will never be right
2003-04-12 || 5:13 p.m.

I don't want all this falseness that we build up around us. I don't want these stupid material possessions or to be part of this system.

I want to feel the earth beneath me and see the sky above me. I want to smell plants and feel the wind, rain and sun on my face.

I would rather live a short, real life than hang on cossetted in wall to wall carpeting and unreal man-made objects.

I'm tired of all this. I'm tired of the noise. The humming of street lamps, the noise of the TV, radio, buzzing of the computer.

I want a real bond with somebody not this perpetual uncertainty. I want a friend who truly cares.

I want to be able to stand somewhere warm and real and scream into the sky, to count the stars at night until I fall asleep and to hold that one person without ever feeling they would reject me.