there is some better place I should be heading towards
2003-02-05 || 10:09 p.m.

Suddenly there is this amazing clarity and things begin to make some sort of sense.

It's not a good sense; it could never be that, but it's explicable.

There are some pieces that I think belong elsewhere because they just don't fit but mostly I can see it is very nearly finished.

Anything extra is a gift.

And so now I take one day at a time because that is all that is possible. I'm glad for all the things that are finished. I can see it is like packing to go away: it's not possible to go when things are still strewn about everywhere.

I need a lot of help to see very small things. I feel like what katy fucking did.

I've said one final thing out loud. Now I wait.