once upon a dream
2002-12-18 || 7:33 p.m.

Everything I do is wrong. I never do anything right. I always unintentionally upset people. I'm always awkwardly in the wrong place, ridiculously saying the wrong thing, pathetically jumping to the wrong conclusions. You name a category of ineptitude and I can fill it.

When I walk the dog I get this strange feeling by certain houses. Its always by the ones that still have the original features; ones that you can see inside have old-fashioned furnishings and decorations. I always get this strong impression of a time in the 1920's or 30's and of a woman working in a hospital and returning each day to a bedsit.

I have the impression of it being cold. Of dark brown furniture. Of low gas lights and heating. Of working during the night, people asleep and being very bored but yet very dedicated to a night watch.

It feels like a scene just outside my grasp.