I'm sorry, I don't mean to insult pigs.
2002-09-30 || 6:18 p.m.

I find the remains of a package on my lounge floor. I can piece the bits together and just make out that it says something about applying for a Government grant to insulate your house for the winter. Fill in form (! - gone) replace in plastic bag (full of teeth holes) and leave outside by 9.00am tomorrow. No information on what to do if your dog ate it.

The new design of the 492 bus is a fucker. I banged my head on the low protruding fucking-stupid-god-only-knows-what-its-for-but-I-can-only-presume-its-for-advertising-bit by the back seat.

Bastards.

I had a run in with the Pig. I told her I could not do my assembly this week due to my literacy observation. I hate having to justify myself. Why can't people just be fucking reasonable. She made her best pig pout and snuffed and puffed her shoulders up under her stupid fucking nylon lemon three quarter length power dressing bastard outfit. She insisted I do it next Thursday. Which is fine by me because I have the best assembly ever planned. Oh yeah, REALLY fucking good. Hahahaha.

I'm going to get my children to act out two Dr Seuss 'Tall Tales'. Oh I do have a bit of a thing for Dr Seuss, I always imagine he looks just like the Cat in the Hat. We are going to do the one about the woman who had 23 children and called them all 'Dave'. I'm going to have 23 of my class all wearing dark clothing and with the name 'Dave' across their back and chest, running around. It will be a fucking riot and Maria just WILL NOT understand why I want to do something like that. Then we are going to do the one about the north going and south going Zax who are so stubborn they just stay put (!). So, I can tell what you are thinking now - but pray, do tell, exactly how does that link to Christianity and the ethos of your oh so Christian school?

Oh this is the best bit!

Jesus, King of the story tellers!!!!

How fucking cool am I?