Hysteria
2002-07-29 || 11:13 p.m.

Never in my wildest, wildest dreams as a child did I think my life would turn out like this. Not that I can really remember exactly what I thought about the future. I find it hard to connect at all with the person I was then. But I suppose I expected to have choices and peace.

When I look in the mirror I see someone who does not look as though they are a parody of a victim yet that is what I am. It just goes to show that you can never tell by looking what is going on with someone.

I spend too much time concentrating on what I look like and far too much time trying to look like someone I want others to see. Because as anyone knows, its what is on the inside that counts and when have I ever paid any attention to that?

I look ok you see but I know that when I look in the mirror it is the same old loser who looks back.