Dreaming
2002-04-14 || 10:51 a.m.

Ithought I would write about dreams today because like I said the other day, I've been having some very weird dreams of an almost portentous nature. Some of them, however, have been to do with what is stressing me out at the moment. Anyway, here goes.

In the first dream I had last night I dreamt it was summer and I went to school wearing a dress. The only shoes I had to wear with it were my DM's. When I got to school Maria went mad. She was calling me all the names under the sun but the recurring thread throughout was that she was calling me a 'bloody Red'. (!). I was trying to explain that I had no money and it didn't matter really what shoes I wore as it was still me and I was still a good teacher but she started attacking me, punching me etc. I refused to fight back. Eventually others had to intervene but the final thing she did was spat at me as she was being pulled away. All I could think in the dream was that no-one has ever hated me as much as she does.

This dream is pretty self-explanatory really. I know she doesn't like what I am on the outside and I don't think she considers what people are like on the inside. The one thing I'm not sure about is whether the hatred is what I think she thinks of me, or what my sub-conscious is aware she thinks of me.

Anyway, I woke up grinding my teeth, which is not something I usually do. So I must have been feeling pretty frustrated. Obviously it's weighing pretty heavily on my mind.

Next dream.

I dreamt I looked out of the window and I could see the ground moving and smoke rising up from the direction of Bluewater. I put the TV on and the news reports were saying that something was happening in the chalk pits but they were not sure what. They did not know if there was a previously undiscovered earthquake fault there and we were experiencing an earthquake or if there was a war and it was anti-aircraft fire from a secret base. People were being advised to move out of the area. I walked over to my parents' house and said to them that we needed to go. I was being very organised. I told them what we needed: they were panicking. I had everything packed really quickly and I said that we needed to head West. (As I was dreaming this dream I remember thinking how it was like 'The Changes' by Peter Dickinson).

Next dream.

I dreamt that I woke up and found that my navel piercing was gone and in its place was a small blue plaster. Alain was there and I asked him where it had gone. He said that I had been playing with it in the night and so he removed it because it was annoying him. I got Rebecca out of bed and said that we needed to go down to the bathroom and put it back in because I didn't feel right without it. I thought it would be really hard and painful to do but it went in really easily.

That just reminded me that in the second dream although I had everything packed quickly and I was really efficient. I insisted on going back for my jewellery (which is not valuable, merely silver and beads).

It seems to me that there are some recurrent themes in my dreams at the moment especially when I think about what I dreamt on Friday night. I had two dreams that night. In the first one I had gone to live somewhere else with Rebecca but Alain had followed us. We were inside sleeping in the front room on the sofa because we were too scared to go anywhere else; we wanted to be together. I then could see what Alain was doing even though I wasn't in the same place as him. He left a pub and got into a fight and was stabbed and he died.

The second dream was really simple. I was in a house with my sister and I was hugging her and telling her that I loved her.

It seems to me that there is a really strong theme of moving on; not necessarily physically but metaphorically maybe. If you compare these to the Saxon Warrior dream a week or so ago which was about reburial its as if things need to be sorted and order restored in a different way.