Do you know me at all?
2002-02-13 || 2:30 p.m.

Here goes:

Statement 1: When I was a teenager I worked in a record shop. One day this woman came in and asked me if I would like to be in a photostory as a punk. I did and I got paid �12 for my appearance in 31 photos.

Statement 2: Although I have a child I am technically still a virgin having had her through artificial insemination with my lesbian lover.

Statement 3: Four years ago someone tried to kill me.

Statement 4: I sing like an angel.

Statement 5: I once met David Bowie. I was in London sitting in Pizza Hut down Argyll Street, off Oxford Street which is bang slap opposite what was then the Hard Rock Cafe. I saw David Bowie coming out of the Hard Rock Cafe and went over and had a chat and got his autograph but I told him my name was David.

Statement 6: I am actually a teacher. I have a class of 30 children, 20 of whom are boys. I look weird but I'm actually professional and hardworking and trying to make a difference.

Well. Welcome to Ripleys world of Make Believe. Three of the above statements are lies, three the truth. Your job is to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Good luck.